Friday, November 09, 2007

The idiosyncratic cleaning habits of my delighful host.


I am not the most fresh and friendly person first thing in the morning. In fact, most days I would rather be dead than have to haul my dog's body out of bed. For that reason I have to remind myself to withhold judgment of what may constitute peculiar behavior, and what is simply me projecting my own inborn hate for self and world.

I have begun to conclude, however, that my benfactor holds to a set of cleaning practices that may certify him as idiosyncratic, eccentric, colorful, or pehaps mad.
The evidence is mounting:

- When you clean the dishes, first fill the side sink with water, entirely with water, then soap the dishes, all of them at once, then place them in the sink and wash individually. This is the only acceptable dish washing method. Variation will be strictly reprimaned.

-You may not hold the vacuum by its handle, the one that was made for the explicit purpose of carrying it, while vacuuming. Instead, you must drag it along behind you by the hose, regardless of how troublesome that may be.

-Vacuuming is to be done parallel to the floor boards only, due to the belief that this is the only way they will become clean.

-When wiping the floors by hand cloth the same holds true. Use wide strokes only. In this, as in everything else, variation will be strictly reprimanded.

It is worth mentioning that all these activties will take place between 7 and 8:30 AM, which is to say in a period of time somehow not factored into the 6 hours of work I owe.